Bromance: what it means, the signs, and what makes it last

A bromance is a close and warm friendship between two men, the kind other people can see and tease them about.

An example: two men met on the first day of college, stuck together in a broken elevator. Fifteen years later, one was best man at the other's wedding and cried through his whole speech. Their wives joke that the two of them are the real couple.

What does bromance mean?

Two men in a bromance spend a lot of time together, share jokes and secrets, and are not shy about showing that they care about each other. People usually say the word with a smile.

So what's a bromance in daily life? It is two friends who call each other first with good news, go on trips together, stand up for each other and maybe hug a bit longer than a handshake needs. There is no romance in it. The bond is friendship.

Where does the word bromance come from?

Bromance is a blend of bro, short for brother, and romance. Dave Carnie, editor of the skateboard magazine Big Brother, is credited with coining it in the 1990s. It became common around 2005, when comedies about close male friends made it popular.

The romance part is a joke. It points to how much the two men like each other, and nobody means it literally.

Signs you are in a bromance

• You text each other every day, often about nothing.
• You have inside jokes nobody else gets.
• He is the first person you call with big news.
• Your partners know him well and joke about the two of you.
• You have a standing plan, like a Sunday game or a yearly trip.
• You can sit together for an hour without talking, and it is not awkward.
• You stand up for each other and tease each other just as much.

What makes a good male friendship?

Good male friends do what all good friends do, often in their own way. Many men bond side by side while they do something together, like fixing a car, watching a game or going on a long hike. The talk comes along the way.

A few things keep a male friendship strong.

1. Regular time together. A weekly game or a monthly dinner does more than one big trip a year.
2. Showing up. Help with a move, a visit in the hospital, a call after a breakup.
3. Saying it out loud now and then. "Good to see you, man" counts.
4. Room for real talk. The best bromances make space for hard things too, like a lost job or a sick parent.
5. Teasing that never hurts. Jokes are part of the fun, as long as both of you laugh.

Bromance, best friend or platonic friendship?

A bromance is a kind of best friendship. Every bromance is a close friendship, though not every close friendship between two men gets called a bromance. The word fits best when the bond is warm and other people can see it.

A bromance is also a platonic relationship, close and caring with no desire on either side. That word works for any two friends of any gender. Bromance is simply the playful name for two men.

What makes two men click as friends

Much of it comes down to the relationship type between two men. Typeza takes this from socionics: every pair of personality types lands on one of 16, each with its own easy ground and blind spots. Four of them show up often in male friendships.

The friends who share one sense of humor

Two Ideators met at a party and talked until the host turned the lights off. Ten years later they still send each other odd ideas at midnight, like a podcast, a business or a train trip across Asia. They laugh at the same things and never run out of topics. Being the same type, they form an Identity pair, and the topics they avoid are the same as well. For these two, it is feelings. When one goes through a breakup, the other sends a funny video and does not ask how he is doing. Things go better once one of them learns to ask the plain question: "How are you, really?"

The friend who backs you in everything

A Commander is direct and always the first to act. His best friend, an Entrepreneur, is very good at business, and the Commander admires it. When the Entrepreneur opened his first shop, the Commander painted the walls, carried the shelves and told half the town to come. The Commander is the Supplier in this pair, giving help nobody asked for, and the Entrepreneur is the Orderer on the receiving end. He values it and still needs more room than his friend wants to give. It goes best when he says thank you out loud and the Commander does not take a quiet week as a step back.

The friends who do things together and rarely talk about life

An Analyst and a Counselor have played chess every Thursday for eight years. They agree on how things should be done and work well together. They helped each other move, and the fishing trip they plan every summer always goes to plan. Yet neither knows much about the other's childhood or fears. This is Business, easy and fair teamwork that rarely turns into deep closeness. It is a good friendship as it is. If one of them wants more, he has to start that talk himself, maybe on the long drive to the lake.

The friend who wants to talk about feelings

A Vitalizer is the heart of every party, and he hugs everyone. His friend is a Craftsman: steady, handy with tools and private about what he feels. They have fun together. Then, after a few drinks, the Vitalizer says "Come on, tell me how you really feel," and the Craftsman wants to go home. Typeza calls this Supervision. As the Supervisor, the Vitalizer presses on the Craftsman's weakest spot without trying, and the Craftsman is the Supervisee who feels it. The Vitalizer means it kindly. It helps when he lets his friend show care in his own way, like fixing a bike, and stops asking for words.

Some of the steadiest bromances are Duality pairs. Each man is strong right where the other is weak, so the friendship takes little effort and grows closer with time.

Any two men can become close friends. The patterns only explain why one friendship clicks on day one and another takes years.

What kind of bromance do you have?

Your relationship type stays hidden until both of you take the test. One of you does the free friendship compatibility test and texts the other the invite link from the result. Once your friend has answered too, the pair of you can read your relationship type, a brief summary and what it is like from his side and from yours. Types of friends shows where your other friendships fit.

Questions people ask

Is a bromance gay?

No. A bromance is a close friendship, and the word says nothing about anyone's sexuality. The men in a bromance can be straight, gay or bi, and the friendship is a friendship either way. Being openly fond of a friend is part of a good friendship.

What is a bromance relationship?

A close and warm friendship between two men, with lots of time together, shared jokes and open care for each other. It is not romantic.

What is the female version of a bromance?

People sometimes say womance or sismance. Most simply say best friends.

Can a man and a woman have a bromance?

Strictly, bromance is for two men. A close friendship between a man and a woman is usually called a best friendship or a platonic friendship.

Can you have more than one bromance?

Yes. Some men have one best friend, and others have two or three close friends from different parts of life, like school, work and sport. Each of those friendships can be a bromance.

How do you start a bromance?

The same way as any friendship. See the same man often and ask him to do something with you. A standing plan, like a weekly game or a Sunday run, turns a new friend into a close one faster than one big night out.

What is the bro code?

A set of unwritten rules between male friends, half joke and half serious. Most versions come down to loyalty: back each other up, keep each other's secrets and never leave a friend stranded.

What does brotherhood mean between friends?

It means treating a friend like family. You show up when he needs you, tell him the truth and keep the friendship going through the years, even when you live far apart. If you want words for it, these brotherhood quotes run from short texts to lines for his wedding.

Sources

• Dictionary.com, "bromance". A close friendship between two men that does not involve sex, usually said in jest, and a blend of bro and romance.
• Wikipedia, "Bromance". Dave Carnie and the skateboard magazine Big Brother in the 1990s, and the word's spread around 2005.
• Wiktionary, "womance". The female version, with sismance as a related word.

Written by Virko Kask, founder of Typeza
Written with the help of AI tools.