Long distance date ideas for couples who live apart for now

Good long distance date ideas give the two of you something to do side by side, so a call holds more than a report on the day. Cook the same meal on a video call, mail each other an evening in a box, play a game or start a show at the same moment, and turn the next visit into a plan you make together. They suit couples apart for a while, for study, family or two jobs in two cities. Couples who keep two homes in one town by choice are a different case, covered in living apart together.

An example: every Sunday at six, Sam props his laptop up on the kitchen counter in Chicago, and at seven Montreal time Lena does the same in hers. Then they cook the same dinner. One week it's her grandmother's lentil soup, the next it's his fresh pasta, which so far has gone wrong twice. Lena is in Montreal for one year to finish a nursing degree, and they have counted: thirty-four Sundays left. In the first month they talked every night, and most nights the call ran out of things to say after ten minutes. Sam wanted the nightly call anyway. Lena wanted fewer calls that went somewhere. The Sunday pot was the first plan that worked for both of them.

Date ideas on a video call

• Cook the same recipe at the same time. Agree on the dish on Friday, shop on Saturday and cook on Sunday with the laptop on the counter. Then eat at your own tables and compare.
• Go out to dinner at home. Dress as if you were meeting at a restaurant, light a candle and set a proper table at both ends.
• Take each other for a walk. One of you walks the neighborhood with the camera facing out: the new bakery, the river, the neighbor's very large dog. Next week, swap.
• Take a beginner class together. Many teachers run live online classes in drawing, dancing or a language. Being bad at the same thing together makes a good date.
• Draw each other. Set a timer for five minutes, draw the face on your screen, then show your drawings at once.
• Read aloud at bedtime. One of you reads a chapter while the other listens in bed. Take turns choosing the book.
• Tour a museum online. Many museums offer free virtual tours. Each of you picks a room and plays guide.

Dates you can send by post

Mail is slow, and that's part of the fun. For a few days, something is on its way.

• An evening in a box. Pack a candle, a snack from your city, a packet of hot chocolate and a card with the plan for the night. Open it together on a call.
• The recipe for your next cook-along. Write it out by hand, with your own notes in the margin, like "the timer lies."
• A hand-drawn map of your week. Your street, your bus stop, the café where you study, and a small X wherever you thought of them.
• Postcards of boring places. The laundromat, the parking lot, the vending machine on your floor. A dull postcard with a funny note gets more laughs than a pretty one.
• A printed photo from your last visit. On the back, write the date and one line about that day.
• Two copies of the same jigsaw puzzle. Keep one, send one, and start them on the same night.

For a whole box of letters to open on hard days, open when letters explains how to put one together.

Games and shows to share across two screens

Games for long distance couples work best when you have to talk to win, and shows work best when nobody watches ahead.

• Start a show that is only yours. Pick a series neither of you has seen, count down from three and press play together.
• Score every episode. Keep a shared list with both scores out of ten, and talk about the biggest gaps.
• Write a quiz for each other. Ten questions about your week, from what you had for lunch to the song stuck in your head. Swap, answer and grade.
• Play a slow game by message. Chess, a word game or a drawing game, one move a day, so something is waiting when you wake up.
• Race the same crossword. Print the same one and start on "go."
• Listen to an album start to finish. Press play together, stay quiet until the last song, then talk about it.
• Try a two-player online game. Many need two players working together, and the arguing is part of it.

For games that need nothing but a chat, see games to play over text.

Plan the next visit together

Planning is a date in itself when you do it together on a call.

• Buy the tickets on a call. Choose the train or flight together and press the button at the same moment.
• Each pick one secret plan. Keep it a surprise until the day itself.
• Plan the first evening down to the meal. The walk from the station, what you'll cook, which film you'll fall asleep to.
• Keep one day completely empty.
• Pin places on a shared map. Any place worth trying goes on the map.
• Run a countdown. For the last ten days, send one small thing a day: a photo, a song, a bad joke.
• Talk about when the distance ends. Even a rough date, like "after the exams in June," makes the months before it feel shorter.

Long distance messages for your partner

Between calls, a short text tells them you're thinking of them. It works best when it sounds like you and picks up something they told you. Here are a few for the moments that tend to be hardest.

Morning texts, so something is waiting when they wake up:

• "Good morning. I'm sending this early so it's the first thing you see."
• "First coffee of the day, and I'm already saving up things to tell you tonight."
• "It's raining here. Send me some of your sun."

Before a visit:

• "Nine days. I've already cleaned the flat twice."
• "The first evening is planned. All you need to bring is yourself."
• "Tell me what you want for dinner on Friday. I'm cooking."

After a goodbye:

• "Back home, and your mug is still on the table. I'm leaving it there."
• "That was a good week. Thank you for every bit of it."
• "Counting again already. Text me when you land."

When the week is hard:

• "Rough day? Call me when you can, even for five minutes."
• "I can't fix it from here, but I can listen all night."
• "You're doing better than you think, and I'm proud of you."

Missing your wife? The love quotes for your wife have more for when one of you is away. For the last message of each day apart, there's a list of good night texts too.

One call every night, or two long ones a week?

Sam would call every night if he could. Lena would rather have two long calls a week and a few voice messages in between. Both want to stay close. How often each person wants to talk, and for how long, often follows personality type. Here are six of the 16 types:

• Harmonizer: likes a short call every evening, mostly to hear your voice. The routine comforts them more than the topic.
• Vitalizer: wants daily contact with feeling in it, and a skipped call can sting. Ten warm minutes a night do more for them than one long call a week.
• Analyst: prefers fewer calls with something real to talk about. A nightly "how was your day" can feel like a chore, while a long Saturday talk about an idea feels like closeness.
• Entrepreneur: likes calls with a fixed start and end that fit around a full week, so a date night on the calendar suits them best.
• Counselor: wants long, unhurried talks where feelings have room. Twice a week is plenty, as long as each call goes deep.
• Craftsman: would rather do something on a call than talk about feelings. Cooking, building or fixing something side by side feels like a date to them.

Sam is a lot like the Vitalizer, and Lena reads like the Analyst. They settled on a short voice message every weeknight, a long call on Wednesdays and the Sunday pot. If the two of you want different amounts, say so early and pick a rhythm you can both keep. Long distance friendship looks at the same question between friends.

How to keep it fun for months

• Keep logistics out of date night. Bills, flights and family news get their own quick call, so a date stays a date.
• Take turns as host. Whoever hosts picks the idea and sends anything the other person needs.
• Mark the odd milestones. The halfway day, the hundredth day, the first snow in their city.
• Surprise them now and then. Have a bakery near them deliver one pastry on an ordinary Tuesday.
• Let some calls be quiet. Read or study with the call open and barely talk. It can feel a lot like home.
• Skip a night without guilt. Say "tomorrow," mean it and move on.

Find out how much contact each of you needs

One partner wants a call every night and the other is happy with one long call on Sunday, and type is often behind that. The free couples compatibility test works on a laptop or a phone, wherever each of you is. Paste the link from your result into your chat. With your partner's answers in, your relationship type shows what runs smoothly across the distance and where you tend to clash, a good topic for your next long call.

Questions people ask

How do you go on a date in a long distance relationship?

Choose something to do together on a call, like cooking the same recipe, playing a game or starting a new show at the same time. Treat it like a real date, with a set time and no other screens.

What are some fun virtual date ideas?

A cook-along, a live online class, a quiz about each other's week, an album played start to finish, a five-minute drawing of each other or a walk with the camera facing out.

What can long distance couples do together online?

Play games made for two, start a show only you two watch, race the same crossword, take a class together or tour a museum.

How often should long distance couples video call?

There is no right number. Some couples call every night and some twice a week. Choose a rhythm you can both keep, and add voice messages in between if one of you wants more contact.

How do you keep a long distance relationship fun?

Keep logistics out of date calls, take turns planning, mark small milestones and always have the next visit on the calendar.

Written by Virko Kask, founder of Typeza
Written with the help of AI tools.