Going away party for a friend who is moving: ideas that fit them

A going away party for a friend who is moving should be built around that friend. Someone who loves a crowd gets a big night with music and everyone they know. A quieter friend gets a small dinner with three or four people and time to talk. Hold it two or three weeks before the move, plan one game or a keepsake, and end the evening with a date for the first visit.

An example: Priya told her friends in March that she was moving to Lisbon at the end of the month. She also told them, very firmly, that she didn't want a party. Kai listened. Instead of a big send-off, he invited her and two friends, Sofie and Ben, to his small living room on a Thursday night and cooked a pot of yellow dal for four. They ate on floor cushions around his low table under the one good lamp. When the bowls were empty, Sofie put a jar in front of Priya. Inside were 52 folded notes, one for every week of her first year away, each with a memory or a small dare. "Find the best custard tart in your street and send us a photo," said the first one. Priya held the jar up to the lamp and laughed. "Can I read them all tonight?" "One a week," said Ben.

Match the party to the friend who's leaving

Start with the person, then pick the size. Some friends want a last big night with everyone. Others want the three people who matter and a long dinner. Here's how eight of the 16 types usually like to be sent off.

• Harmonizer wants a cozy dinner at home with their favorite food and a few close friends. They'll probably try to feed you too.
• Vitalizer wants a big night with music, a theme and everyone they've ever met. Give them a send-off they'll tell stories about in the new city.
• Mentor wants an evening where people say what they mean. Leave room for them to speak as well, and expect some tears with the laughter.
• Commander enjoys a lively group outing, like bowling or a game night, and may want a hand in planning it. Let them.
• Dreamer wants a small, quiet dinner with no speeches on the spot. A keepsake they can open alone later means more to them than a crowd.
• Diplomat loves games and an audience. A round of funny stories about them, told with love, will make their night.
• Organizer has a tight moving schedule and likes a party with a clear start and end. A brunch at a set time works, and help on packing day might mean even more.
• Counselor wants real talk with two or three friends. A long walk past your favorite places, then dinner, suits them well.

Priya is a Dreamer, which is why Kai cooked for four and kept the jar hidden until the bowls were empty.

How close to moving day?

Two or three weeks before the move works best. Your friend is still around, but the boxes haven't taken over every evening yet. The last week is usually packing, cleaning and goodbyes to family, so a party then can feel like one more task. If the move is sudden, a small dinner a few days ahead is still better than nothing. Either way, check the date with your friend before you invite anyone, since they know their packing plan best.

Themes for a moving away party

A theme gives the evening a shape, and it doesn't need decorations. Pick one that fits your friend.

• A taste of the new city. Cook or order food from where they're going. Custard tarts for Lisbon, tacos for Mexico City, ramen for Tokyo.
• Our favorite places. Walk a route past the spots you've shared, like the café, the park bench and the bookshop, and finish with dinner.
• Photo night. Ask every guest to bring three photos from your years together and show them on the wall.
• A last picnic. Take a blanket and their favorite food to the park they love most.
• Home cooking. Everyone brings the dish your friend always asks for at their place.

Going away party games for every guest

One or two games help guests who don't know each other well, and they give everyone a reason to tell stories about your friend.

1. Who knows them best. A short quiz about the friend who's leaving: first concert, worst haircut, favorite snack. They read out the right answers.
2. Two facts and a fib. Your friend tells three "facts" about their new city, and everyone guesses which one they made up.
3. Pack the suitcase. Each guest names one thing they must take with them and says why. The list gets sillier as it goes round.
4. The first time we met. Everyone tells the story of how they met your friend in one minute. Some versions will disagree.
5. Postcards for later. Guests address blank postcards to themselves. Your friend packs them and sends one back from each new place they visit.

A keepsake to pack

Choose something small enough for a suitcase. A memory jar like Priya's, a little photo book or a notebook of the recipes you've cooked together all travel well. A letter works too, and a letter to your best friend can help you find the words for one.

Keep the door open after the move

The party is a goodbye, but the friendship goes on, and the end of the evening is a good time to say so out loud. If the last hour turns a little sad, the saying about good things ending has tips for making the most of it.

• Set a date for the first visit. Put it in your calendars before you leave the party.
• Agree on a rhythm. A call every other Sunday, a voice note when something reminds you of them. Ideas for keeping it going are in long distance friendship.
• Plan a trip together. Meeting halfway for a long weekend is something to count down to, and traveling with friends covers how to plan one without fights.
• Go to their new place. Once they've unpacked, their housewarming party makes a perfect first visit.

Find out what keeps a friendship close across the miles

Some friendships ride out a big move with ease and others need more care, and much of that depends on the two types involved. Start with the free friendship compatibility test. Give the friend who is leaving the link from your result before the boxes are packed. Once they have done it, your relationship type shows what keeps two friends like you close and where the distance might show.

Questions people ask

How do you throw a going away party for a friend?

Ask yourself whether your friend wants a big night or a small dinner, set a date two or three weeks before the move, pick one theme or game, and plan a keepsake. End by choosing a date for the first visit.

What do you do at a going away party?

Eat together, tell stories about the friend who's leaving and play one or two games. Many groups give a keepsake near the end of the evening.

What can you give a friend who is moving away?

Something that fits in a suitcase: a memory jar, a small photo book, a letter or postcards addressed to you that they can send back.

Can you have an online going away party?

Yes. If friends live far apart, set a video call, cook the same dish in each kitchen and play a quiz about the friend who's leaving.

What if my friend doesn't want a going away party?

Keep it small. A dinner for three or four, with no speeches, is often welcome even when a big party isn't.

What if the one leaving is a coworker?

A farewell for a coworker usually fits into the working day, with lunch for the team, a card everyone signs and a few good stories. For that card, farewell messages for a coworker are sorted by how well you know the person. If the coworker who's leaving is also a close friend, add a small goodbye of your own away from work, and pick a date for your first meetup before their last day. The guide to work friends covers how to stay close once you no longer share a desk. If they're leaving work for good, retirement party ideas has themes and games for that send-off.

What do you write in a going-away card?

For a friend, write something only you could say, like "I'll miss our Sunday walks. Call me from the new place and tell me everything" or "Your new city has no idea how lucky it is." For a coworker, write to the person as well as the colleague: "Thank you for every time you made a long Monday funny. I'll miss you." Lines such as "Good luck on your future endeavors" or "Best wishes for your future endeavors" are formal, so they suit a coworker's card more than a close friend's. One personal line makes them warmer: "Wishing you all the best in your future endeavors, and a desk near the window."

How do you wish someone safe travels?

Keep it short, and add one detail about the trip or the person. For a friend, try "Safe travels! Text me the minute you land," "Have a safe trip, and save me a spot on your new sofa" or "Safe journey. The first postcard had better be addressed to me." For a coworker, say something about them as well as the job: "Safe travels, and enjoy every bit of the new city. Mondays won't be the same without you" or "Wishing you a safe trip and a good first week. Thank you for all the help."

Written by Virko Kask, founder of Typeza
Written with the help of AI tools.