Questions to ask your siblings: for sisters and brothers

Good questions to ask your siblings are about the years only the two of you shared, and about the people you've become since. Start light, with funny questions to ask your sister or brother. Move on to growing up in the same home, and keep the deeper ones for later in the evening. The lists here cover a sister, a brother, the home you grew up in, adult siblings, a round of who is most likely to, and a sibling quiz with no score at all.

An example: Lena and her brother Tomas are back at the house they grew up in for a long weekend. After dinner they take two mugs of tea out to the back steps, the way they used to sit as teenagers, and watch the yard go dark. Lena asks the question she has saved all day: "What do you remember about the night of the big storm?" Tomas says he remembers the candles, the wind, and feeling very brave. Lena points at him. "You said, and I quote, 'I'm never scared of thunder again.' Five seconds later you were under the kitchen table." Tomas covers his eyes with one hand and laughs until his tea goes cold.

Funny and weird questions to ask your sister

These work for a sister of any age, as long as you're both grown. Ask them on a walk, on a long call or over the dishes.

• Which of my clothes did you borrow and never give back?
• What did you tell your friends about me when we were teenagers?
• What's a word only the two of us understand?
• If you could take one thing from my home without me noticing, what would it be?
• Which of my habits would you put in a museum?
• What would your name be if you'd named yourself?
• What's the weirdest thing you believed as a kid because I told you it was true?
• If you had to describe me as a weather forecast, what would it say?

Questions to ask your brother

Some brothers give one-word answers to big questions. A question about something specific often gets more.

• What's the dumbest plan we ever had together that still makes you laugh?
• What do your friends know about you that I don't?
• What's something you can do now that I'd never guess?
• Which job would you try if you could start over tomorrow?
• What was the best day of your twenties?
• What would you do with a whole day and nobody to answer to?
• Which hobby would you pick up if nobody laughed?
• Which of my friends did you like best, back then?

Questions about growing up in the same home

Ask these to each other, one at a time, and let both answers stand. Often one of you kept what was said and the other kept how it felt, like Lena and Tomas with the storm.

• What's your first memory of me?
• Pick one evening from when we were small. What do you see when you think of it?
• Which room in our old home felt most like yours?
• What sound from that house could you still pick out with your eyes shut?
• Which game did we make up, and what were the rules?
• What did I do back then that you secretly copied?
• Which of my teenage phases do you remember better than I'd like?
• Which of our old hiding places could you still find in the dark?

If you grew up in two homes or met as adults, these still work for half siblings and stepsiblings. Just swap "our old home" for the summers you spent together. Questions about your mom and dad are best asked to them, and there are plenty of questions to ask your parents and grandparents.

Deeper questions for adult siblings

Keep these for later, when it's quiet. None of them asks who was to blame for anything.

• When did you first see me as a grown-up?
• Which part of your life do you wish I asked about more?
• What have you learned from me, even if I never meant to teach it?
• How do you think we've changed toward each other since we left home?
• Where should the two of us go one day, just us?
• What do you hope the two of us are like at seventy?
• Which of your plans are you most excited about right now?
• What do you wish I knew about your everyday life?

Some brothers and sisters talk every day, and some see each other twice a year and still feel close. Both kinds have a place among the types of sibling relationships.

Who is most likely to: funny questions for siblings

Play it with every sibling at the table, or with just two of you on a count of three. Point at whoever fits.

• Who's most likely to hear the other's news before the rest of the family?
• Who's most likely to still know the old home phone number by heart?
• Who's most likely to cry during the other's wedding speech?
• Who's most likely to turn up late to their own birthday dinner?
• Who's most likely to keep the other's secret for thirty years?
• Who's most likely to still have a box of their old school notebooks?
• Who's most likely to tell the same childhood story at every holiday?
• Who's most likely to get lost on the way to the other's new home?

A sibling quiz: how well do you know your sister or brother?

Each of you writes down your own answers first, then the other guesses. Keep no score. Ask about each wrong guess, since that's where the stories come out.

• What's my favorite way to spend a Sunday morning these days?
• Which friend from school am I still in touch with?
• Which subject was I best at in school?
• What's the one food I still won't eat?
• Which room in my home do I spend the most time in?
• Which city would I move to tomorrow if I could?
• What's the last book or show I couldn't stop talking about?
• Which chore did I hate most growing up?
• How do I spend the first hour after work?
• What's my idea of a perfect birthday now?

The same game works with friends or a partner, and the how well do you know me questions suit any table.

Days that give you a reason to ask

You don't need a special day, though one helps. In the US, National Siblings Day on April 10 is a good excuse to call and ask a few of these. National Sisters Day on the first Sunday of August suits the questions for a sister, and Brothers Day on May 24 the ones for a brother. A long drive, a walk after a holiday meal or an evening on the back steps works too.

One evening, two memories: eight types

Lena kept what was said that night and Tomas kept how it felt. Typeza sees personality type as part of that. Treat these as loose leanings from type theory, since many people are a blend, and as a playful guess about your family, never as a guide to a real sibling. Eight of the 16 types:

• Ideator remembers the plan the two of you came up with that night, and still thinks it would have worked.
• Harmonizer remembers the blanket, the warm lamp and the smell of toast, and is back there the moment you name one of them.
• Analyst remembers why the lights went out, and can still tell you how the fuse box worked.
• Inspector remembers the date, the weather and the time the lights came back on.
• Dreamer remembers the moment just before the storm, when they sensed something change before anyone said a word.
• Guardian remembers who was there for whom that night, and who kept the promise not to tell.
• Organizer remembers what got done, like who found the candles and who made up beds on the floor.
• Encourager remembers what each of you hoped for back then, and asks whether you still do.

So when your memories don't match, nobody has to be wrong. You may just have been paying attention to different things.

What your two types say about the two of you

The questions show how each of you remembers. Type is often part of why the two of you get along the way you do. The free family compatibility test is where it starts. Do it first, then pass your result's link to your sister or brother. When they finish, Typeza shows you both your relationship type, with the parts that feel easy and the places you tend to clash.

Questions people ask

What are good questions to ask your sister?

Mix funny ones, like which of your clothes she borrowed and never gave back, with questions about growing up and one or two deeper ones, like when she first saw you as a grown-up.

Sources

• Wikipedia, "Siblings Day". April 10, recognized in parts of the United States and Canada.
• Awareness Days, "Sisters Day". The first Sunday of August, observed mainly in the US.
• Romper, "When is National Brother's Day?". May 24 every year.

Written by Virko Kask, founder of Typeza
Written with the help of AI tools.