Speak of the devil: what it means, and the friend who shows up on cue

"Speak of the devil" is what you say when the person you're talking about walks in at that exact moment. The full saying is "speak of the devil and he shall appear," and a common older version is "talk of the devil." Today it's almost always said with a laugh, about a friend or a relative, and it means nothing bad about them at all.

An example: Ines, Kai and Mara have met at the same corner cafe on Sunday mornings for years. Last week Mara ordered four coffees out of habit, then remembered that Leo hadn't come in almost two months. So the three of them talked about Leo. He disappears for weeks, then turns up with a story nobody saw coming. The last thing they'd heard was that he had taken up beekeeping. Kai was halfway through a guess about how many times Leo had been stung when the door opened. In walked Leo in his navy jacket, waving, with a jar of his own honey in one hand. "Speak of the devil," said Ines, and all three of them burst out laughing. Leo laughed too, without knowing why, and Mara slid the fourth cup across the table.

The whole saying, and the short ways people use it

Most people only say the first half. All of these mean the same thing:

• "Speak of the devil." The usual short form, said the moment the person shows up.
• "Speak of the devil and he shall appear." The full quote, a little playful and old-fashioned.
• "Talk of the devil." More common in British English, same meaning.
• "Speaking of the devil." Often used as the person walks in, or when their name lights up on your phone mid-sentence.

You'll also hear the shortest version of all. Someone just says "Speak of..." and nods at the door, and everyone at the table understands.

The saying comes from an old belief that naming the devil out loud was bad luck. It was well known in England by the 1660s, as "talk of the devil," and only turned into a light joke in the 1900s.

The friend who walks in right on time

Many groups have one. Maybe it's the cousin who calls the minute you mention her, or the old roommate who texts the day you find a photo of the two of you. When it happens, it feels a little spooky.

In families it's often a grandparent. You're telling a story about your grandmother at dinner, and her name lights up on the phone before you've finished the sentence. Somebody at the table always says it, and somebody else always answers, "She knows."

There is a plain side to it. We tend to talk about the people we're half expecting, so the timing lines up more often than chance would suggest. We also remember the one time it worked and forget the hundred times we mentioned someone and nobody showed up. None of that spoils the fun. The moment someone walks in on their own name is one of the small, shared jokes that makes a friend group feel like a group.

Why some friends get talked about more than others

Some people come up in conversation all the time, and others almost never. Usually it's one of two reasons. Either they're the friend with the stories, or they're the friend who is missed. Personality type plays into which one someone becomes. Here are seven of the sixteen types, listed as on the types page:

• Ideator: the storyteller. They always have a new plan, and friends retell the latest one with love and a bit of disbelief.
• Harmonizer: the missed one. When they skip a night, the evening feels less cozy and someone always asks where they are.
• Commander: the storyteller. They're the one who did the bold thing, and the group repeats it for years.
• Dreamer: the missed one. They drift off for weeks without meaning anything by it, and friends wonder quietly how they're doing.
• Diplomat: the storyteller. They know everyone's news, which means they're often part of the news too.
• Organizer: the missed one. They used to book the table, and when they're away, plans fall apart and everyone notices.
• Craftsman: a bit of both. They vanish into a project, like a garden or an old car, then come back with something they made.

Leo, with his bees, could fit more than one of these. Mara, who ordered his coffee without thinking, is clearly the friend who misses people.

Some friends come up for a less happy reason, because every week brings them a new crisis. That's a different kind of talk, and dealing with a drama queen covers it.

Keeping talk about an absent friend kind

Friends talk about friends who are away all the time. That's part of how people keep each other in mind. The trouble starts when the talk turns into something you'd never say to their face.

A simple check works well. Imagine the friend walks in while you're mid-sentence. Would you finish the sentence, or would you go red and change the subject? If it's the second one, it's worth stopping now.

• Share their news, not their mistakes. "Leo took up beekeeping" is fun. Guessing at why his last relationship ended is not.
• Turn the talk if it slides. "Let's ask him when he's here" ends most unkind guessing.
• Take worry straight to them. If you're concerned about a friend, a message to them helps more than a long talk without them.
• Pass on the nice things too. If you told the group how much you missed Leo's terrible puns, tell Leo.

For the gossipy side of friend talk, spill the tea looks at what's fun to share and what isn't. And if someone in your group is sweet to your face and harsh behind your back, two-faced people has more on spotting that.

When you're the one who walks in on your name

Sooner or later you'll arrive just as someone says "speak of the devil." A light answer is all it needs:

• "Only good things, I hope."
• "My ears were burning."
• "Did I miss anything good?"

If you do catch something unkind on your way in, you don't have to settle it right there at the table. A quiet word with that friend later, one on one, usually goes better than a scene in front of everyone.

What Leo brought besides honey

Leo sat down, opened the jar and passed it around for the coffee. Then he told them about his first sting, which happened in the first ten minutes. Mara asked how he could vanish for two months and come back as if he'd left yesterday, while she worried the whole time. Neither of them had a good answer.

Find out why one friend worries and another just shows up

One friend can disappear for two months without a thought while another worries the whole time, and type explains a good part of it. On the free friendship compatibility test, your honest answers show which type you are. Send the friend who always walks in on cue the link from your result. Once they are done, you'll each see your relationship type: the things that come easily between you two and where each one tends to read the other wrong.

Questions people ask

What's the full speak of the devil quote?

"Speak of the devil and he shall appear." An older form is "talk of the devil." Most people use only the first four words.

Is it speak of the devil or speaking of the devil?

Both are fine. "Speak of the devil" is the classic form, said right as the person appears. "Speaking of the devil" works the same way, and people also use it to bring a person back into the talk, as in "Speaking of the devil, did Leo ever call you back?"

Is it rude to say speak of the devil?

Usually not. Between friends it's light and warm. With someone you don't know well, "We were just talking about you" says the same thing more gently.

What are some other sayings about the devil?

"The devil is in the details" means small things can cause big trouble. "Better the devil you know" means a familiar problem can feel safer than a new one, and "playing devil's advocate" means taking the other side on purpose to test an idea.

Sources

• The Phrase Finder, "Speak of the devil". "Talk of the devil" in Torriano's 1666 Piazza Universale, the superstition, and the light use only in the 20th century.
• Wikipedia, "Speak of the devil". The full forms and "talk of the devil" in the UK.

Written by Virko Kask, founder of Typeza
Written with the help of AI tools.