Things to do for your anniversary, by what you both enjoy

The best things to do for your anniversary depend on what the two of you love doing together. Some couples come alive outdoors, some at home, some looking back at old photos and some trying something they have never done. Find which kind you are, pick an idea that fits, and if you want different things, do a little of each.

An example: for eight years, Ines and Tom celebrated their wedding anniversary at the same Italian place, at the same corner table, with the same dessert. It was lovely, and by year eight it was also a bit of a habit. This year Tom suggested something else: a sunrise hike up the hill outside town. Ines wanted the opposite, a slow day at home with nowhere to be. They went back and forth for a week. In the end they did both. They watched the sun come up from the top of the hill with a thermos and two pastries, came home, slept until noon, and spent the afternoon on the sofa reading the letters they had written each other the year they met.

Which kind of anniversary couple are you?

Before you book anything, ask each other one question: "After a really good day together, what did we usually just do?" The answers tend to fall into four groups.

• Adventure. You feel closest after a long walk, a trip or something a little scary.
• Quiet at home. You feel closest with no plans, good food and time to talk.
• Memories. You love old photos, old places and the stories of how you got here.
• Something new. You feel closest when you learn or try something together for the first time.

Most couples have one clear favorite and one second choice. Plan around the favorite and borrow from the second.

Anniversary ideas for couples who love adventure

• Hike to a view at sunrise or sunset. Take a thermos, a snack and a blanket.
• Take a day trip to a town neither of you has seen. Pick it by spinning a map, if you like.
• Rent a canoe or kayak and paddle until you find a good spot for lunch.
• Go up high. A hot air balloon, a cable car or a lookout tower makes the day feel big.
• Camp for one night under the stars, even if it's only in a nearby state park.

Anniversary ideas for quiet homebodies

• Cook the meal from your first date or your wedding, as close as you can get it.
• Have a slow breakfast in bed, with no phones until noon.
• Spend a phone-free day with books, a long bath and a walk around the block.
• Build something together, like a jigsaw of a photo of the two of you, a shelf or a herb garden.
• Write each other a letter about the past year, then read them aloud.

For evenings in on any ordinary week, there are more ideas in at-home date night ideas.

Ideas for couples who love looking back

• Go back to where you met, whether it's a café, a campus or a friend's old kitchen.
• Recreate an old photo in the same spot and pose, and frame the two side by side.
• Watch your wedding video or flip through the album with something sweet to eat.
• Make a list of your best days together, each on your own, then compare.
• Start a memory jar in which you each drop a note about a good moment every month, and open it on the next anniversary.
• Map your life together by marking every place you have lived or traveled.

Ideas for couples who want to try something new

• Take a one-day class. Pottery, a cooking class, a dance lesson or glassblowing.
• Learn a skill as beginners, like climbing, sailing or ballroom dancing, where neither of you is ahead.
• Stay somewhere unusual, like a treehouse, a lighthouse, a houseboat or a cabin in the woods.
• Volunteer together for a day, at an animal shelter or a community garden.
• Say yes to each other's pick. Each of you plans one surprise activity the other has never done.

Anniversary date ideas for one evening

Not every anniversary needs a whole day. If you both work late or the date falls in the middle of the week, one good evening is plenty. These ideas fit between dinner and bedtime.

• Redo your first date in one evening. The same kind of food, the same order of things and the same nervous small talk, if you can keep from laughing.
• Cook a three-course dinner as a team. Each of you owns one course and keeps it a secret until it's on the table, and you make dessert together.
• Go to a live show. A comedy night, a play at a small theater or a local concert gives you something to talk about on the way home.
• Take a night walk with three questions. Ask each other about the best day of the year, the hardest week and one moment you were proud of the other.
• Play the game from your early dates. Cards, a board game or the quiz you used to do, and whoever loses makes breakfast the next morning.
• Stargaze from somewhere dark. Bring a blanket, find the darkest spot within half an hour of home and lie back.
• Dance in the kitchen to the music you played the year you met, with the lights turned low.
• Try a restaurant neither of you knows and order for each other.

Pick one for this year and keep the rest for later.

When one of you wants a big day and the other wants rest

Ines and Tom's split is very common. A few ways to make it work:

1. Give each of you half. The morning belongs to one of you and the afternoon to the other.
2. Take turns by year. This year is a trip, next year is a day at home.
3. Find the overlap. A quiet cabin with a hiking trail out the back door suits both.
4. Keep one ritual that never changes, like the same toast or the same dessert, and change everything around it.

First anniversary ideas

The first anniversary has its own feel, because everything is still a first. Some couples mark half a year as well, and the 6 month anniversary page has smaller ideas for that.

• Return to your wedding venue or first-date spot and share a dessert there.
• Read your vows again, or write a short new set about the first year.
• Make a time capsule with photos, a letter and a playlist, sealed until your fifth anniversary.
• Play a round of questions about each other to see how much the first year taught you. Newlywed game questions has plenty.
• Plan the next year together: one trip, one thing to learn and one thing to change.

For the card that goes with the plan, anniversary wishes for your husband or wife has short lines for year one and beyond.

Ideas for couples married ten, twenty or forty years

Long-married couples have done the dinners, so meaning matters more than novelty.

• Take the trip you kept postponing. Most couples have one, and an anniversary is a good reason to finally go.
• Renew your vows quietly, just the two of you or with a few close friends.
• Invite the people who were at the wedding for a small dinner and swap stories.
• Make a photo book of the decades, one page per year.
• Visit the town where you met, and walk the streets you walked back then.
• Talk about the next ten years, including where you want to live, what you want to see and what you want to stop doing.

Planning for your mom and dad instead? Your parents' anniversary has gift ideas and card lines written from the grown child's side.

What each anniversary year is called

Each wedding anniversary has a traditional name, taken from a material. The materials start soft and get harder and more precious as the years go on, the way a marriage grows stronger with time. The best-known names:

• 1st, paper. A blank page, for a marriage that's just begun.
• 2nd, cotton. Soft but strong, as two lives start to weave together.
• 3rd, leather. Tough and flexible, able to bend without breaking.
• 5th, wood. Roots that have taken hold.
• 10th, tin. A metal that bends and keeps things safe for years.
• 15th, crystal. Clear, for a couple who can see each other plainly.
• 20th, china. Delicate, and made to be used every day.
• 25th, silver. A precious metal, tied to anniversaries since the 1500s.
• 30th, pearl. Built layer by layer over a long time.
• 40th, ruby. A deep red stone for a love that still runs warm.
• 50th, gold. Another old name, for a marriage that's rare and treasured.
• 60th, diamond. The hardest stone, for a marriage that has lasted a lifetime.

The UK and US lists agree on most of these and differ on a few years in between. The sixth is sugar in the UK and iron in the US. The seventh is wool in the UK and copper or wool in the US, and the ninth is copper in the UK and pottery in the US. Some American lists name the tenth tin or aluminum, and a few lists swap paper and cotton for the first two years.

Anniversary ideas on a small budget

A great anniversary does not need a big bill.

• A picnic in the park where you had an early date.
• A self-made tour of every place that mattered in your story, by bus or on foot.
• A sunrise or sunset from the best free view in town.
• A long walk with old questions, like the ones you asked each other on your first dates.

For a quieter day in the middle of winter, National Spouses Day on January 26 works the same way, with both of you doing something small for the other.

What each type tends to want from an anniversary

People differ a lot in what makes a day feel special, and much of it comes from personality type. Here are six of Typeza's 16 types:

• Mentor: wants the day to mean something. A toast, a letter or a place with a story, and tears count as a good sign.
• Inspector: finds comfort in tradition and a clear plan. The same restaurant every year, booked weeks ahead, is a pleasure.
• Strategist: enjoys a quiet look back at the year and a calm plan for the next one, far from crowds.
• Entrepreneur: wants an experience worth the time, something active and well organized, like a short trip that packs a lot in.
• Counselor: wants closeness and a real talk. A long walk or letters exchanged mean more than a big night out.
• Encourager: wants something new, like a town you have never seen or a class you have never tried, and loves hearing your dreams for next year.

If romance doesn't come easily to one of you, how to be more romantic has small ideas that work all year.

Make your next anniversary fit both of you

A sunrise hike for one partner and a slow day on the sofa for the other is a common split, and type explains a lot of it. Before you book anything, find your own type with the free couples compatibility test. Then hand your partner the invite from your result page. Their answers complete your relationship type, which shows the easy parts of being together and the parts that ask for patience, a good thing to talk over at the anniversary dinner.

Questions people ask

What do couples do on their anniversary?

Common choices are a special dinner, a day trip, a weekend away, a quiet day at home or a visit to the place they met. The best plan matches what both partners enjoy.

What should you do for a one year dating anniversary?

Make the evening about the year you've had together. Return to where you had your first date, or plan a night out doing something neither of you has tried. Many couples also take a few minutes to share their favorite moments of the year and say what they'd like next.

What should you do for a 20 year anniversary?

Many couples take the trip they kept putting off, renew their vows, host a small dinner for the wedding guests or make a photo book of the years together.

What is the 10 year anniversary called?

The tenth wedding anniversary is the tin anniversary. Tin bends without breaking and lasts for years, a good match for a marriage that has made it through its first decade. Many American lists call it the tin or aluminum anniversary.

Sources

• Wikipedia, "Wedding anniversary": the traditional UK and US names by year, and precious metals tied to anniversaries in Germanic countries since the 1500s.

Written by Virko Kask, founder of Typeza
Written with the help of AI tools.