Life goals: examples, and how to pick the ones that fit you

Life goals are the big things you want your life to include: the people you want close, the experiences you want to have and the person you hope to become. The ones that last grow out of what you care about. A goal copied from a friend, a film or your younger self is easy to drop, because nothing in you pulls toward it.

An example: Jonah is 36 when he finds a list he wrote at 22, folded inside an old passport. Run a marathon. Live in New York. Own a red convertible. Learn Japanese. He has done none of it, and the odd part is that he doesn't mind at all. He never really wanted a convertible. So he sits at his desk with a notebook and draws six small pictures for a cork board: two mountains, a heart, a house, a leaf, a guitar and a sailboat. Each one stands for something he wants his life to hold. For the first time, a list of goals feels like his own.

What counts as a life goal

A life goal is bigger than a New Year's resolution and slower than a weekly task. It usually takes years, and some never end at all. "Be a dad my kids want to call" is one of those. "Walk the whole Camino de Santiago" does end, though it may take five years to get there.

Many life goals fall into three kinds:

• Things to do, like seeing the northern lights or learning to sail, which is what many bucket lists are made of.
• Things to have in your life, like a close circle of friends or a home with a garden.
• Ways to be, like calmer, braver or more patient.

The third kind is the hardest to measure, and for many people it matters most. If your list leans that way, these small habits on how to become a better person give it a place to start.

Life goals examples

Here are examples from different parts of life. Read them quickly and mark the ones that make you a little curious. That feeling tells you more than any list can.

For the people you love

• Call a parent or grandparent every week.
• Learn your family's recipes and write them down.
• Be the aunt, uncle or godparent a child can always talk to.
• Write letters to your children for when they're grown.
• Take your parents on one trip they've always talked about.

For your friendships

• Keep one school friendship alive into old age.
• Plan a yearly weekend away with your closest friends.
• Make two new friends after 40.
• Host a dinner once a month where friends can bring friends.

For your body

• Be able to hike all day at 70.
• Learn to swim well.
• Sleep eight hours on most nights.
• Cook most of your meals at home.

For your mind

• Learn a second language well enough to joke in it.
• Read 30 books a year.
• Learn to play an instrument.
• Take a class in something you know nothing about.

For adventure

• See the northern lights.
• Learn to sail.
• Sleep under the stars in a desert.
• Visit the country your grandparents came from.
• Take a long road trip with no fixed plan.

For a calmer life

• Live near the sea or the woods.
• Grow your own vegetables.
• Spend one day a week without screens.
• Have a spare room where friends can stay.

For giving back

• Volunteer for one cause for ten years.
• Teach something you love to someone younger.
• Plant a tree for every year of your life.

Jonah's board covers several of these. The mountains stand for a long hike with his brother. The heart is for calling his dad every Sunday. The guitar means three songs at his niece's birthday next June.

Lifetime goals and goals for this year

Some goals belong to a whole life. Others fit in a single season. They work best as a pair, with the big one giving the small one a reason. "Be fit enough to play with my grandkids" is a lifetime goal. "Walk three times a week this month" is the small step under it.

When you write your list, put one short goal next to each lifetime goal. Jonah's dream is to hike the Pacific Crest Trail with his brother someday. His goal for this year is a two-day hike in the fall, so they find out whether they still enjoy sharing a tent.

Small goals for this month

A month is long enough to change something small and short enough to remember why you started. One or two goals are plenty. On the first of the next month, look at them again and keep, change or drop each one. The monthly goal ideas below cover habits, people and skills, and some are daily or weekly goals that add up.

• Finish one book you started and put down. A chapter a night gets most books done before the month is out.
• Take one photo a day of something ordinary, like the light on the stairs or the line at the bakery, and keep the best one from each week.
• Eat with someone you don't live with once a week. Lunch counts, and so does soup at a friend's kitchen table.
• Go to one thing a friend cares about, like their choir concert, their team's match or their stall at the Saturday market.
• Each Friday, tell one person something they did that week that helped you.
• Learn one long joke well enough to get a laugh at dinner.
• Learn to skip a stone five times on the nearest lake or pond.
• Learn to darn a sock so the hole in your favorite pair is gone by the end of the month.

When a small goal lasts the whole month, it may be ready to join your new year goals.

Goals you chose and goals you picked up

Jonah's old list came from somewhere. The marathon was his roommate's dream. New York came from a TV show he loved at 20. The convertible came from his uncle. Many goals arrive like this, from parents, friends or social media, and they feel like your own until you try to work toward them.

Ask a few questions about each goal on your list:

• Would I still want this if nobody ever found out I did it?
• Does thinking about it give me energy, or only a sense of duty?
• Whose voice do I hear when I read it?
• Does it serve something I care about?

The last question is easier once you know your personal values. A goal that serves a value you hold, like family or freedom, tends to last. A goal that serves someone else's values often fades within a few months.

How to set achievable goals

A big goal can feel so far away that you never start. A few steps bring it closer:

1. Write it in plain words. "Learn guitar" is a start. "Play three songs at my niece's birthday next June" is something you can plan around.
2. Find the first small step. For Jonah, it was buying a used guitar and one beginner's book.
3. Give it a fixed time. One set hour each week works better than "when I have time."
4. Tell one person. Pick someone who will ask how it's going.
5. Look at the list every few months. Cross off, change or drop the goals that no longer fit.

It's fine to drop a goal. People change over the years, and their lists should change with them. On weeks when a goal you keep feels far away, how to get motivated has ways to start anyway.

Which life goals tend to pull each type

Typeza sees personality type as part of which goals pull at a person and how they chase them. Eight of the 16 types:

• Ideator: wants to learn about everything, so their list grows long and changes often. Finishing one goal before starting three new ones is the hard part.
• Harmonizer: dreams of a warm home, good food and a calm rhythm with the people they love. Their goals sound small and bring a lot of comfort.
• Mentor: picks goals with people at the heart, like a cause to support or a younger person to guide.
• Inspector: likes goals that can be measured and tracked, with a plan written out step by step.
• Dreamer: often senses when the time is right to start a goal, and stalls if hurried before then. Goals heavy on budgets and paperwork go better with a helper.
• Strategist: thinks in decades and asks where life is heading in twenty years. They distrust goals that sound good only this month.
• Guardian: wants to be someone people can count on. Their goals often protect a family or keep a promise.
• Encourager: loves goals full of new ideas and people, like helping a friend find their own path. The practical steps go easier with someone's help.

These are leanings, and goals shift with age. Still, if every goal you set feels heavy, it may suit someone else's type better than yours.

Learn what drives your choices

Type is often part of which goals feel like your own. Start with the free personality test. Some goals involve another person, like a partner, a sibling or a close friend. Invite them to take the same test from your result. When they have answered, your relationship type shows where you naturally help each other and where you may want different things.

Questions people ask

What is a goal in life?

It's something you want your life to include over the long run, like a close family, good health, a skill you're proud of or a place you want to see.

How do you answer "What is your goal in life?"

Pick one or two goals you truly care about and say why. "I want my kids to grow up with their grandparents close by" says more than a long list.

How many life goals should you have?

Five to ten is enough for many people. With more than that, none of them gets real attention.

Written by Virko Kask, founder of Typeza
Written with the help of AI tools.